As a Charlotte photographer, I usually try to keep my blog posts more towards the humorous and lighter side.
But for one post, I wanted to share some deep feelings. Now, this doesn’t relate as much to photography as it does to life in general. But, just follow me on this one. I will try to tie in photography at the end.
Most people know that I am not only a Charlotte photographer, but I am also a cancer survivor.
I try not to bring it up as much. For some reason, I do not really want to be that guy that gets up on his soap box and boasts about something like that only to get a sympathy vote, etc. That’s just not me. But, I bring it up because I feel like I can finally articulate my thoughts on cancer, how it has impacted me, how it changed me, etc. (Yes, it took this long). For a very long time, I just couldn’t wrap my arms around cancer.
I have regularly-scheduled CT scans as part of my cancer follow-up. You know…..they push that dye into your veins, send you through machine, etc. If you do not know, the dye for that scan causes your entire body to become hot, and flushed. It’s a very weird feeling. Why am I telling you this??? Well along with the rush of flushing, and heat all throughout my body, I feel extremely vulnerable lying on that machine. It’s hard to describe, but I have some intense thoughts lying down, waiting for them to push me through for the CT scan. The first year or two, I had weird thoughts and feelings mainly of fear. I would become very emotional! Over time, my thoughts and feelings have changed. Now, the fear is replaced with total humility. I know it is cliché, but I feel so thankful to be alive and to have the ability to work, play, take photographs as a Charlotte photographer, etc. That’s all I can think about before and during my scans.
These intense feelings led me to contemplate how I have changed since cancer. For one thing, I am thankful to be alive. Generally speaking, I wake up every day and I am thankful I am here. With that said, my cancer gave me perspective. It gave me tremendous perspective! I do not even know that you can comprehend it if you have not experienced it. Truthfully, if a circumstance doesn’t kill me or leave me homeless, I generally do not worry about it. It’s like that saying, “Don’t sweat the small stuff!” (multiplied by 10). Also, I find time to laugh and enjoy myself. Beforehand, I was a serious dude who had 10-year plans, etc. I didn’t know how to have fun! Now, I find time to laugh, have fun, goof off, etc. Lastly, I do not plan life. I plan my life about two weeks in advance. Other than that, I have no idea! I have no master plan. Those 5-year and 10-year plans are obsolete! Why bother…….
With all of that, I am so thankful to have the opportunity to pursue photography as a Charlotte photographer!
I do not want to be too dramatic. But, my wife, pets, family, friends, and photography are a second chance in life. Trust me! I do not take them for granted. Due to my cancer in the past, I think it motivates me even more to find things in life that I enjoy! So now, you may understand why I pursue photography as a Charlotte photographer so much!……Ok…..enough of the deep thoughts!